Igniting fire

(This is a little post for me to remember how igniting fire feels like)

I am in a Social Training School of the Chilean government, which was organized by a christhian NGO in Chile for leaders and volunteers of social organizations. This is the first time this event happens. There are more than a 150 people from different cities of Chile from different denominations of churches. They work directly with communities of drogadicts, sexually abused kids, in slums, jails and with the families surrounding them, etc.

I’m a speaker here.
Only because I have been exposed to information that is “innovative” “disruptive” and “validated” by important institutions. These institutions are usually respected by other organizations with finantial resources. To share this information can be relevant.
I am also sharing because I have used these methods many times in projects so I have gained confidence in knowing what I tend to do wrong and right. This confidence made me be active in showing my interest in sharing too.

So I am here, sharing.

The workshop I am giving is in Human centered design and Crowdfunding and it has 2 objectives: 1. To describe and exemplify these concepts and 2. To explain why it is relevant for them to know.

I made a parallel between John 13:3 (Jesus washing his disciples feet) and the mindset of a designer. I personally love this verse of the Bible. It says: “Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God and was going back to God,…” (took everything he needed to wash his disciples’ feet…paraphrasis by May) It shows Jesus as someone who knew who he was and where he was going. That awareness enriched his actions even when those actions were common, simple, rutinary and even disgusting. This particular simple action was enriched by the knowledge he had about his identity. (At this point my mind conveniently brings up other leaders in history that have had this “awareness” which in change made them do all sorts of atrocities. -Thank you mind- Yes, I’m talking about this awareness but directed towards a common good, which is also tricky to define…I will leave this topic for another post and continue with what I originally had in mind for this post.(y) )
Jesus, in this situation, assessed the past and acted in the present by considering the future and his objectives. Just as a designer. They actively construct in the future. For that, they need to know what they have in their hands so that they can do what it is needed, according to their plan.

People related. After the workshop, a women who works with deaf people hugged me saying: “Thank you so much for your talk, I feel my eyes have been oppened like this..” (opening her hands slowly).
Wow. Right there. That feeling. That is how igniting fire feels like.
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You don’t know what it’s going on people’s heads, what is going to make sense but sometimes you say or do something that just starts a kind of fire that you hope continues. That makes them feel motivated, passionated. I love that. However you should know which kind of fires you want to incite and which ones you want to douse at what time. Because not all fires are good at all times.
I personally like the constructive kind of fires, the people and organizations that act like “anabolic agents” in this organism of society, but you know… for metabolism to happen it needs “catabolic agents” as well. You need to break down some things to release enough energy to build up the things that make up your body.
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So some questions running through my mind at this point are: how can we improve our perception of destructive forces? how can we modify what is modifiable in us to create a balance that we are content with in a personal and group level? is it possible?
I believe in my case, I have chosen to “destroy myself” in some ways in order to give energy to others by catabolizing my wishes, I mean, curating the ways I feel pleasure for example. This, in change, also gives me pleasure at the end, which I find funny. 🙂

The more stories of resilience and renewed motivation in people I know, the more I’m in love with discovering and igniting these fires that exist in people to do good. To genuinely serve others. Not everyone is like this, but those are my favorite kind of people 🙂
It is wonderful to connect these fires, these people who are more interested in the practical application of their altruistic beliefs than actually being perceived as being “right”. More than words, actions.
I love how altruism has ways to cause us such pleasure that can become a source of addiction. If I have to have an addiction in my life, I definitely want to keep choosing this addiction for myself.
To altruistically ignite fire in me and others to maintain balance, but more that that, to improve the organism in its entirety.

Making dead art & my Love/Hate relationship with libraries

I get anxious when I go to a library to read without a book in mind.
There are so many brains that can be discovered in the loneliness of another. So many thought processes that can be deciphered in the silence and attention of another’s thoughts.
It is such an intimate thing to read. To take time to be seduced by the perception of another human. “Ok, tell me your story”- you say- “I will give you my time now…” You listen but also collaborate with the author to broadcast his visions in your head, with the resources that you have inside your mind, so when she or he says:”…the dog barked repeatedly at the sound of the siren so Alex had to get up and hug him tightly to calm him down and prevent the zombies to find them”. You pick in your imagination one dog you have seen before or you construct a new one with bits and parts of different dogs but probably it is not the dog that the author was imagining. It was a dog. Which kind of dog?… A brand new one that you created. The author tricked you into sculpting this awesome thing in your head and so you are left there energized and grateful for the time spent together, dreaming these incredible landscapes and situations and emotions together. Then you wake up…and… wait, was this real?
You fell in love with someone who was so gentle in showing you his world in your mind but who is dead in this reality. What? …this person was perfect for me in an imaginary land! Oh well, You missed each other just for a hundred years or just a thousand miles. We almost met! Almost! Sigh… what a pity…
I have felt the urge to write a book, I am writing two actually, but I don’t want to publish them. (Should I?…I don’t know yet) I don’t want to put my energy into secretly pouring my thoughts into a book. No. Many have done this already and I already know it is a magical thing. There are millions of genius brains waiting to be carefully dissected. Should my brain be another one?
What about all the people who use other languages besides the written word? or who cannot read? or that the written word is not as engaging in their realities? Their lives matter too. They are valid. Usually they are the ones being left behind, usually the ones being oppressed by other “more educated” humans. I dislike this.
1174812_10153073811545478_48291477_nTherefore, I have decided to express my art in other ways. Look for other forms. Be versatile Maycita. As long as a piece of art has mistery it is alive, so I want my art dead. I want it to be as transparent and as vulnerable as I can. As understandable as I can make it, to die my art in my lifetime, not live it. This way no one will ever fall in love with me in a thousand years. I want to fall in love with me now. With my motives now.

I’m fascinated about discovering me in the world and the world in me. I want to love deeply in the moments that people need strength to go on. Make art now. Be present and ready now. The most important thing I have learnt in my travels and interactions with people is how insignificant I am and yet how much I can mean in a moment.
The attention of people is a spotlight where you have to perform and you better have your stuff together to give a good show. A beneficial one. An educational one. An energizing one. I hope.
I can’t imagine to invest in anything greater than the moments of life. To deconstruct myself to feed the fire of others.
Let’s keep trying to do this. Let’s be an open and loud diary. Let’s make dead art today.